Fathers Day

A reflective fathers day this year. Later this week it is twenty five years since my father died. Twenty five years, a quarter of a century! I got the call and drove my battered Ford Escort flat out from London to Southport and he died in our arms. It was shortly after David Platt scored the winner for England against Belgium (he loved football), and with Pavarotti singing Nessum Dorma. He was only 71, but of a different generation to most of my friends’ fathers.

My father never met my children, or saw the internet, or computers or mobile phones. He would have loved Sky Sports News and have been utterly bewildered by most of what we think is normal today. I was pondering Periscope today and have no idea how that could have been explained to him. He fought in the war and would never talk about it, saying simply that he had seen things that no-one should see. He didn’t like ‘foreign’ food – “Tried it in the war, didn’t like it”, so my mother used to slip garlic in when he wasn’t looking.

He hit his tennis serve by holding the racquet like a frying pan, drawing it down on the ball to give it acute backspin. When he his a forehand his right leg went up in the air. He was truly awful at DIY. My father loved small children, but didn’t understand anyone over 5 years old; and teenagers, oh the battles!

William Thomas (Terry) Terrett was a cool man with a dry sense of humour. He worked hard for his family and kept little for himself. He offered little encouragement when we were growing up but was rarely critical.He retired at 63 and within a few years began to fade, badly. I have always thought, that like many of his generation, the war broke something in him that could never be unbroken. When military service ended, work began. When work ended there was little left.

My father was a maths genius. We used to race to add up vast lists of numbers from his Sales Conferences, him by hand and, me on a calculator. He was never wrong, and always faster. In another life he would have taken the University place denied him as a youth  and then who knows?

There have been many times when I needed his guidance in the last twenty five years and have just had to work things out myself, today I feel it more than usual.

As Leonard Cohen sang “It’s Fathers Day and everybody’s wounded”

Little Black Spot

gizmo1

There’s a little black spot on the sun today.

We lost our handsome, beautiful, opinionated Cairn Terrier Gizmo this week, to cancer. He was only 7 years old. My wife cries, my daughter is withdrawn and my chatty, noisy son is silent. I have a Cairn sized hole in me. When his predecessors left us (Woody at 14 and his brother Homer at 16) there was time to prepare. Time had caught up with them. For Gizmo it was less than 7 days from diagnosis to gone. He was an absolute delight, and lest I ever forget:

  • He had a strong belief that (when he woke us up by standing on our chests, madly wagging his tail to go out for a pee at 2.30 a.m.) we would be as happy about that as he was,
  • The way he ran downstairs to greet us at the front door, earning the nickname Thunderhooves,
  • That he learned (with my daughter) to do the cowboy trick – she drew imaginary pistols and made shooting noises – he rolled over and raised his paws,
  • When let  off the lead he didn’t run, he galloped,
  • How he slept on the big bed on his back with his head to one side and all four legs pointed to the ceiling, AND made puppy noises when he was dreaming,
  • That chasing a small tennis ball was great, but chasing three at once was the BEST THING EVER,
  • He loved licking faces, and my son’s face was his favourite,
  • How he was my bacon sandwich, sausage, cheese, tuna and afternoon sleep buddy.

He could also subdue a rubber chicken, stand for hours in plant pots, drink pond water and generally be magnificent.

As a family we already know that we have unfinished Cairn business, but this one, this little furry one was special.

Oh and if you look carefully you will see that the little black spot on the sun is Cairn Terrier shaped.

Goodbye to 2013

Annus_Horribilis

I want to say goodbye to 2013. No really I will pleased to open up 2014. This has been a strange and difficult year for me and our family and we need to move on. HIT THE REFRESH BUTTON.

On the good side my daughter turned 21 and got a 2/1 in her degree. My son turned 18 and my marriage turned 25. We have been largely healthy and Gizmo the Cairn has been a delight. There have been some fantastic supportive people around and I thank them all.

On the down side life has been tough and will be for a while yet. Sadly a number of people have let me down in business. They know who they are and know what they did (or didn’t do). While I wish them no ill-fortune I hope that in future they deliver on what they commit to. Enough of this and of them.

I did not see the sea in 2013, perhaps for the first year in my life. So if we are going to build a bucket list for 2014 it MUST include this. When you grow up by the sea it is just part of you and the separation is a strain on the soul. I am building my bucket list here.

We move into 2014 quietly and with purpose. As a good friend of mine pointed out to me this year “It is time to stop dicking around”. Quite

See you in a more sparkly and productive 2014.

Mojo

Lost my Mojo

I confess that I’m suffering a bit at the moment. While sleeping, sometime in the last few weeks, someone SNUCK IN and stole my mojo. Or maybe it decided, all by itself to go on holiday on its own and have a (well-deserved) break from me.

Those that work with me know that I’m an optimist and strive to be the person that my dog thinks I am. At the moment there are no outward signs that anything is different. We have to accept that at times the way we behave towards others is supported not by rampant mojo but by a quiet determination not to let folk down. Frankly, between us it feels a tad inauthentic and is making me grumpy with myself, which again, is not my natural state. This Phil is usually happy in his own company – but right now I’m bored witless with myself.

So research has been done, but I’m not convinced by what is on the internetwebthang. Apparently I need to:

  1. Drink less alchohol (nope, haven’t had a drink yet in 2013)
  2. Eat better food (we do quite well on that front, thank you)
  3. Do something different ( Ok I can work on that one. My friend Lucy has just given up television and gained 3+ hours per day. But what to do – crochet? Water polo? I guess it has to be something unrelated to earning a living)
  4. Relieve stress (easier said than done)
  5. Spend less time online (Just how much time do we all waste dicking around online? Sometimes it is madly stimulating, but at other times it just sucks the life out of us)
  6. Getta betta social life (I hear you)
  7. Go on holiday (Not this year)
  8. Do what you love (I’m trying damn it)
  9. Get some exercise (Point taken)

I always quite fancied living on a WiFi enables barge, gliding gently from lock to lock in the summer sun, making a handsome living in two hours per day trading PORK BELLIES and selling DIESEL POWERED NUNS online. But I digress.

Do I now have a plan having got all of that off my chest? Not really but sometimes the simple act of writing it all down makes it better. A bit like by making a list of all of the things you have to do makes some of them go away! I’m leaning towards Lucy’s viewpoint, but need to find a mojo-regenerating project that is not work or chores. Something just for me.

Failing that, will whoever stole my mojo please return it pronto – it’s mine and won’t suit you anyway. Or…when it has had its fill of sun, sea, sand and whatever else mojos do on holiday, it will send me a postcard and return refreshed.

Change

Time for change

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching”

I always know when it is coming, but usually have not known why – of course logic and reason can be applied, but it’s the feelings that count, that make it inevitable. And those feelings are semi-conscious feelings, a moment of wistfulness, a hypnagogic interlude, the whisper of a song, a long forgotten smell.

It starts with broken sleep, not bad sleep but broken, lately waking up at stupid o’clock, dozing on the sofa in the evening, getting woken by Mr Cairn at 1am when he has caught wind of a potent smell drifting in from the garden. Then coincidental hearing of music from other times of change – this morning flicking channels a film had Blue Moon (revisited) by the Cowboy Junkies playing in the background. Then a smell – summer rain and dust mixing. Then a desire to travel again, to be on the road in America or back in Moscow.

This is a pattern I know, and may be illogical or may be coincidence, but really it is neither. It is a shift in me that will lead to change. I tell clients that nothing remains the same, it either progresses or deteriorates. At pivotal points restlessness sets in and the outcome is inevitable. Am I going to leave home – of course not, or pack it all in and knit yoghurts for a living, of course not.

Watch this space.

“May the bridges I burn light the way.”

Chickens coming home to roost

Sometimes people are just a bit silly. If you are within a small-ish community (South Wales Social Media) and choose to impersonate someone else, behave badly and generally be an enormous pain in the butt then the chickens will surely come home to roost. I have met Elio Assuncao briefly, but wouldn’t claim to know him. I do know @allanbbeaton well and he is a trusted friend. Who would you do business with, the owner of his own name with a great reputation, or the apparent cyber-stalker? A community will always cleanse itself & this has been going on too long.

What to do when you are not in charge?

thinking

Hmmm, a question…..

I spend most of my working life in control of what I do, as I run my own business – my game, my rules.  My wife Ruth has a great dog community business and online shop called Johnny Muttley. She has started appearing in person at country fairs, dog shows and events and I tag along out of solidarity and support (and to put up the gazebo). I am in effect her sequined assistant. It is however, her game and her rules and she likes things done in her way and at her speed.

How do I use up my excess energy during these days and how do I avoid moping around like a sulky teenager as I await my orders?

Thunking required and polite advice welcome…..

Shelter From The Storm

I just spent a couple of hours cooking two meals, one for tonight and one for tomorrow in the company of a dear old friend, Blood On The Tracks by Bob Dylan, and like so many times over the years it struck a number of notes with me; and so a brief thought odyssey accompanied by Bob….

“They say the darkest hour is right before the dawn” (Meet me in the morning)

Someone really smart said that you can never be truly happy until you are doing what you were built to do. This got me to thinking that I can do many things, I do do many things, but especially in my work I haven’t always been heading towards what I am built to do. This changed last year when we launched a collaborative project to help people build their businesses. Nevertheless the change has been painful, but I think we are getting there.

“I can change, I swear, oh, oh, See what you can do. I can make it through, You can make it too.” (You’re a big girl now)

I’m sure you can see from the other entries in this blog that a lot of what I do leans towards helping others. I guerilla garden to help the community and I pay-it-forward to help individuals worse off than myself. The realignment of my work is to ensure that I carry all of this thinking through to my business – helping others grow, helping others help their customers. In Tim Templeton speak I think I am moving towards being a relationship-relationship person.

“then he walked up to a stranger and he asked him with a grin, Could you kindly tell me, friend, what time the show begins? ” (Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts)

Well it has already! As well as the initiative to help businesses grow I’m working on a cunning plan to help businesses appreciate their existing customers more, and to appreciate and be grateful for the referrals they receive in a more concrete way. Wouldn’t it be nice to meet past and future customers who say “I remember you, you sent me a postcard/gift/thank you note”? I had one of those today.

“Try imagining a place where it’s always safe and warm. Come in, (s)he said, I’ll give you shelter from the storm.” (Shelter from the storm)

This is where I am heading to, so tell me what you think. Business by kindness, politeness and attention to those that we meet is a great way forward. Matching this better to personal ways of doing things has to be my way forward.

“I can’t help it if I’m lucky.” (Idiot wind)

Thanks Bob, good to hear you again. Why no words from “If you see her say hello” you ask? I’m saving that for a tattoo. This is me by the way:

Phil Terrett Cartoon